


We'll have one last dance, and then we'll figure it all out

by AJKyle (orphan_account)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Dick is Not Okay, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Tim and Kon are dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 22:29:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20181760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AJKyle
Summary: It has been almost fifteen years and Jason's life has changed a lot. He is on good terms with almost everyone, except Dick. Their breakup has been hard on everyone, and Jason just wants things to go back to the way they were before. His new boyfriend an simple life make him happy in a way he never thought he would be, but something is always missing.Dick crashes through his a window a few days before Damian's wedding and Jason is reluctant to face his feelings for the man.





	We'll have one last dance, and then we'll figure it all out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elareine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elareine/gifts).

There is a picture sitting above the fireplace in Jason's little house. It's an old one. Everyone gathered around the table playing a board game. Dick and Bruce are so focused they might as well be in uniform. Tim was giggling at something, but it was so long ago no one could tell you what it was. Damian is still a kid, maybe thirteen, trying to ignore Steph's teasing. Cass is looking at her cards with a little smile. Jason looks shy. It isn't a common look on him, and he really doesn't know what he was thinking. 

He doesn't display pictures. There aren't very many of meaning that don't bring up memories of loss and grief. Most people don't watch so many friends die in a lifetime, and he wasn't even forty. It was an eventuality in this line of work that Jason knew better than anyone. People don't just do what they do and live long and happy lives.

Sometimes he would get a letter, but most of the time people just wouldn't be there anymore. There would be rumors, but thats all heroes really got. 

This picture was no exception of course, it brought back memories that made Jason feel like his chest was getting torn open, but for some reason he couldn't manage to hide it away in the box under his bed with the others.

Did you forget about me?

Jason swore under his breath as he read the text. It was almost midnight and he completely forgot about his date planned for eleven. He was just barely getting home, rummaging around in his pocket for the keys to his apartment, but he wanted to go have a fun night.

Okay, maybe he just wanted to go to bed. It didn't seem that long ago that he was barely even awake in the daylight hours, but not anymore. He liked being up with the sun, he just usually wasn't this late at the office. He couldn't be too upset about it. He was helping people. He was helping kids. He couldn't help but get caught up, and Will knew that. He would understand. 

He hit the call button in the corner of the screen as soon as he got inside. 

"Hey," Will answered the phone, "Did you still want to meet up?"

"Yeah, man. I'm so sorry I just got caught up. There some stupid budget issue that I need to talk to Tim about. I must have lost track of time."

"It's all good. I know it means a lot to you. It's one of the things I like about you." Jason couldn't help but feel relieved, "We don't have to go out if you don't want to, but I don't have any clients tomorrow so I'll let you keep me up. Bri is with her mom tonight anyways." 

It was all he could do not to let out a little giggle. The whole thing hadn't been going on long with will, only a couple weeks, but Jason was getting that teenage butterfly feeling that he had missed out on. This was the first relationship he had ever taken part of that wasn't fucked up on more levels than he could count. This was just two normal guys. No hostage situations or death threats, no costumes, just two people.

He really did need to thank Tim. He had set this whole thing up. Will's daughter had become friends with Tim and Kon's daughter, and Tim had decided that Jason needed to get back out there and set him up on a blind date that had gone surprisingly well. It didn't mean he was okay. Jason didn't think he would ever be the same, but he could at least get better. Will was fun and really nice. He was a tattoo artist, which was cool as well as really fucking sexy. 

"You know, that actually sounds perfect. Maybe we can--"

Jason was cut off by a loud noise coming from the bedroom. 

"Hold on one second."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine."

Jason made his way towards the bedroom. He opened the door ready for a confrontation, but found Dick falling onto the ground from the window. 

Why now? Why tonight? Actually, Dick falling through his window would have been inconvenient any time.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Will's voice came from the other end of the line. 

"Um..." Jason started. A closer look revealed a large cut in Dick's thigh through his uniform. "I am so sorry. Some family stuff just popped up. I'm so sorry. Another night?"

Will sighed. He sounded a little bit annoyed, but mostly amused. "Another night then."

"Wish me luck."

"Goodbye."

Now, he had to get to Dick because if he was giving up his night then he definitely wasn't going to have anyone bleeding out in his apartment. 

"Shit, Dick are you okay?"

"I'm good. Just a few stitches and I think I'll be okay.

While Dick sat on his couch getting stitched up, Jason tried not to let all of the good memories come rushing back in. Dick didn't make a sound except a few pained noises here and there. Jason used to insist he didn't need any anesthetic, they all did. 

"You know, I think this is the first time since I've known you that you couldn't think of something to say," Jason said as he wrapped the suture kit in the gloves he was wearing and threw them into the trash. 

"Well," Dick let out a hiss when he rubbed the skin around the sutures, "It's been a long couple of months."

"No ones seen you around. Did you stay in Jersey?"

"No. I've been around. Mostly west coast." He paused for a second, and then that trademarked smile lit up his face, "You're trying to tell me that Tim didn't know where I was? I know he isn't on the front lines anymore, but I know he isn't out of the game. What happened to our Kid stalker?"

"Well, he has a lot on his plate."

"That's never stopped him before."

"He has a kid now, Dick." It came out more clipped than Jason intended it to, and Dick's face dropped for just a second. It was a sore spot. Tim had a life now, and he should have known that it would hit Dick where it hurt. "I'm sorry, Dick. I didn't mean to--"

"No. No. You're right. You guys aren't stuck in the past. He has priorities. I'm happy for him."

Jason couldn't think of anything to say. He wanted a cigarette. It had been years since he even had a craving, but since he and Dick had ended things, the old familiar want had been nagging at the back of his mind. 

"You can take the couch if you want, but I need to get up tomorrow so I'm going to head to bed." It was a lie. He didn't have any plans for the day, he was a nine-to-five guy now. 

When Jason woke up he had one unread message from Will. 

Is your family stuff still going on? I was trying to think of a cute way to ask if you wanted to have some mid-day weekend sex with me, but just asking is the best I came up with.

Jason thanked God that no one was around to hear the high pitched giggle he let out.

Family stuff solved. Jason sent back, I'm really happy to get a second chance. I can be there in an hour.

He pulled on sweats and a t-shirt and walked into the living room. Dick wasn't anywhere to be found. He must have left before Jason got up. 

Jason was still catching his breath as he laid his head down on Will's bare chest. He had just a little bit of blond hair there that matched what was on his head. Will was just about the same size as Jason so it wasn't an awkward position to be in for them. They fit together well and Jason found he really enjoyed tracing the lines of ink on his chest

"What are you thinking about?" Will asked. 

"A cigarette." Jason said. He was again. He swore it hadn't been so bad in a while.

"You smoke?."

"Not anymore. Not since I was in my twenties." Not since before his life was completely different. Before he could talk to and trust his family. Before Dick ripped his heart out of his fucking chest.

Will just hummed at that.

"Do you ever wish you could go back. Stop yourself from getting into something?"

"Doesn't everyone?" Jason didn't have a response to that, so he just nuzzled into Will's neck. "If you went back to change it would you be smoking again?"

"Just the one thing. Not everything." Jason yawned. He was too sleepy for it being the middle of the day.

"I don't know. I think it's a package deal. I wouldn't change any of it."

"Not even the shit with your ex?"

"That whole thing was pretty fucked up. I don't know if Emily ever cared about me and that's harder than anything I have ever been through, but I got Bri from it."

Jason nodded. They sat there in silence for a minute. Jason was fighting off sleep and he knew he was going to lose. He waited until he could hear light snoring from will to give in. 

Sunday night family dinner was the first one that Dick had attended in a while. It used to be that no one was allowed to miss unless there were extreme circumstances. Now it was just Dick who didn't show up sometimes. Dinner was early tonight they all had to fly out tomorrow morning for Damian's wedding. It was going to be at some nice island resort, every cliche that Colin could inspire Damian to be. After dinner was finished, Bruce called Jason into his office

The minute that Jason closed the door of Bruce's office, Bruce's face went from it's typical fake party smile to something more sympathetic, because he knew how hard this was going to be for Jason. He was the only person that Jason had told about his plan. About the ring buried at the bottom of his desk drawer. 

Bruce didn't say anything. He was waiting for Jason to speak first. 

"I'm fine. It'll be hard, but I'm happy for Dami."

"I know." Bruce Leaned forward. "I'm not worried about you. I am worried about Dick. Lately, he's been..."

"I Know. I was half expecting him not to show up tonight." They both knew what was going on and why. Things hadn't been right with Dick for a while. "He showed up at my place a few nights ago. I just can't help but think he wants something more from me, something..."

"Something you can't give him." It wasn't a question.

"I could give and give to him. It isn't that simple. He put the suit back on. We were doomed as soon as he did, but with everything that's happened... I just wish I could be there for him."

"Jason, there's only so much we can do for each other. I was broken for years. I still am. I had alfred. He helped me, and so did Dick and you and Tim. None of you could fix me. Selina couldn't fix me. No matter how much we try to reach out for each other, there is always going to something that we have to fix ourselves. You know as well as I do. For a long time I thought, out of all of my children, Dick was always going to be alright." Bruce didn't say anything for a moment. Neither did Jason. Everyone had misread that. Jason and Tim and Damian were so obviously fucked up and Dick was so good at looking okay. Everyone thought he was fine, until he couldn't hide behind puns and smiles anymore. 

"On to something more positive maybe," Bruce continued, "Tim tells me your seeing someone." 

Jason scrubbed his hand through his hair, "Oh yeah, that." He wasn't sure if he was ready for the family to know about it. It was new and nice. Jason had finally found something that didn't root itself in the chaos of his family. "He's nice. His daughter goes to the same daycare as Stephanie. That's how we met."

"Yes."

"You haven't been spying, have you? I thought we talked about this," Jason said in a playful tone. 

"Tim told me about him. Will he be attending the wedding?" 

"He won't. He's busy. Which is probably okay. It's going to be quite the crowd there." 

The whole family was going to come, as well as a large part of the superhero community. Even if they were going to be in their civilian persona's, it was going to be a lot to handle. It wasn't as bad as Tim and Kon's wedding though, with both a bat and a super. 

"Well, better say your goodbye's tonight, because Alfred is picking you up bright and early tomorrow to go to the airport."

When they arrived at the hotel, the first thing Jason did was head up to his room. It was on the fourth and top floor of the building, right next to Tim and Kon. He saw them in the hallway and saw Kon attempting to wrangle both of their daughters as Tim, seemingly oblivious to Kon's struggle, read interesting facts about the island off of his tablet. Stephanie managed to flip over in Kon's grasp so that all he could do was catch her by the ankle to keep her from getting away. The five year old caitlyn used her younger sisters antics as a distraction and made a break for it. Luckily Jason was there to sweep her up in his arms. 

"Where are you going little girl?" Jason said as he squeezed her in a hug.

"Uncle Jay!" She squealed. He was her favorite uncle and he knew it. Kon offered a thank you as she began to tell him all about her trip. Tim, still oblivious, continued to read off facts he found interesting. 

Over the next few days, there were some scheduled activities and meals, but mostly everyone was happy to just hang around each other. They sat by the pool and caught up with each other, everyone had left work at home, even Tim. The only person expected to arrive late was the batman, she had decided to stay in Gotham to tie up some loose ends, but she wasn't going to miss her brother's wedding. Cass was a much more stable Batman than Bruce ever was. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that she would be there. 

The night before the wedding, they decided to have all of the batboys together and drink. It was something like a bachelor party, although most of the traditions weren't appearing to Damian. So Damian, Bruce, Dick, Tim, Jason, and Duke all sat together reminiscing about old times and painting Damian's hands with henna.

Jason and Dick ended up in a booth at the very corner of the bar that Bruce had rented out for the occasion. They finally talked, and Jason had a great feeling about that. Things were finally looking up. Maybe it was the alcohol and maybe it was just time, but he was finally reconnecting with Dick in a meaningful way. The two of the talked about everything, well except Will, and they laughed all night at eachothers stupid jokes and stories. Not very many were left when by eleven o'clock, and the conversation they were having felt like a door back to the past. Everything felt like it did when they were stupid and in there twenties and realising that they had been in love with eachother for years. 

He was so wrapped in his fantasy of going back in time, that he didn't even think anything was wrong with the way Dick's eyes would fixate on his lips for just a fraction of a second, or the little touches he kept finding excuses to place on Dicks forearm. And then those touches were moving up his arm and his neck until Jason was kissing him, and he wasn't thinking twice about it except for the little voice in his head telling him that he really hadn't been drinking that much and that excuse wasn't going to work in the morning. 

He ignored that voice. It was an easy thing to do because falling back to this, to Dick, was too easy. Being with Dick was a default in his mind, always had been. Being with Dick wasn't like diving into the water, it was like being washed away by a river.

He didn't put up any resistance that night.

Jason refused to open his eyes. He was warm and it was quiet. The hotel bedding was way too fancy. He pushed back the world and the problems he knew he had to deal with when he opened his eyes.

"I have been sent to make sure you get up before- You have got to be fucking kidding me. Not today, you fucking idiots." Jason sat up in bed along with a very groggy Dick. Tim was rubbing both hands through his hair the same way he did whenever he was too tired to deal with his brothers shit. 

"Tim, I can explain-" Jason tried, but Tim cut him off. 

"I don't care. I have too much to take care of today. Please, just deal with your shit and be downstairs in an hour."

And then Tim wasn gone, leaving Jason and Dick in bed. They just looked at each other for a second. This wasn't new to them. They used to wake up together every morning just like this. More often than not, Jason waking up to an empty bed left him feeling empty, but this wasn't right. This was the thing that Jason had been longing for and dreaming about, but it wasn't what he wanted. 

Neither of them had moved. When Jason looked at the man next to him, Dick did nothing to meet his gaze. 

"Should we talk?" Jason broke the silence. Hearing his own voice made him feel like he was in his own body again.

"Last night wasn't anything new was it?" Dick finally turned his head. His hair was hanging in his face in a very Dick Grayson way. 

"Just like old times, right?" Jason said. Dick let out a little laugh. A pause. Silence again. "I should go back to my room. Get ready."

Jason had to search for his clothes on the floor. He wasn't looking forward to the walk of shame, even if his room was just a few doors down. He sat on the bed to lace up his boots. They needed to talk. He knew that. If they didn't talk about, they wouldn't be able to get past it. Jason knew that. He knew it, but right now, he just wanted to retreat. 

"Well," he scrubbed his hands on his jeans, "See you down there then."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dick's lips were on his. He couldn't help but sink into it. It wasn't like last night. It wasn't leading up to anything, it was a plea. He pushed on Dick's shoulder, and when he pulled away, Dick looked wounded.

"I thought-"

"We can't. I'm sorry. I can't."

Dick went from hurt to angry quick. He could always do that. 

"Why not Jason? Why does this always have to be so difficult? You want me don't you?"

"Of course I do, I just... I'm trying to get back to okay."

"This is so typical of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jason hated the way his voice raised, but he couldn't stop it. He knew he would regret whatever he said, but he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"Walking away. Leaving. It's what you always seem to do." Dick's voice wasn't raised, but his words had a bite to them. 

"No. You don't get to do that. You're the one who left me. I'm sorry that this happened, but you don't get to act like I'm stringing you along, Dick. You left."

"Maybe if you weren't so afraid of losing me I could have stayed."

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about."

"Like hell I don't. I loved you, Jason."

"Did you love me? Really? Or did you finally find someone who was more fucked up than you were?"

"How could you say that to me?" Dick's voice was quiet now. Jason hadn't seen Dick look so hurt in a long time, but the more words were spilling out of his mouth before he could do anything about it.

"Sure I was messed up for a long time, but I worked on it. I got better. And when shit went down and I didn't go off the deep end you got scared. Shit was bad, but I dealt with it. I was okay. I thought we were dealing together. I am truly sorry that you couldn’t get past it. I did what I could, and if it was my choice, I would still be right there by your side. I love you more than anything, but there was only so much I could do, and you couldn't deal with me being the one who was okay. I could finally look in the mirror and see a good man, but you never wanted that for me. You just wanted someone who you could stand next to that would make you look okay."

By the time he was done talking, Jason was breathing heavily and Dick looked like he was about to cry. 

"Get out." 

"Dick, I'm sor-"

"Just leave, Jason."

They avoided each other for the entire breakfast. Tim was in charge of making sure everything went according to plan, so he never confronted them, just gave them tired looks across the room every once in a while. Jason was doing fine, happy to be stewing in his own guilt, until he was picked up over someone's shoulder. The guy was big and definitely very strong. All Jason could see were red sneakers. 

"Jon?" Jason asked. 

"Sorry Jason. Orders of the groom." Jon said as he dropped Jason into a large hallway closet.

A moment later the door opened for Kon to deposit Dick in the same manner, and then left the two alone in the closet. 

"Damian?" Jason asked.

"Damian." Dick confirmed

"Actually." They both turned to see a figure step out of the shadows. Colin looked at the two of them and smiled slightly and then, "What the fuck guys?"

They just looked at him, both a bit startled by the smaller man. 

"You guys aren't going to fuck this up for Damian. He put this whole thing together for me. He wants to do everything for me that he can, so the least I can do is tell the two of you to get your shit together. You don't have to do it for yourselves. To be completely honest, I don't care how you are doing. Today is about me and Damian. And Damian, the man who is going to be my husband in a few hours, isn't going to be happy if you two are moping around his fucking wedding avoiding eachother. So work it out."

Colin slammed the door. 

Jason knew he was right, and he was sure Dick did too.

"I'm sorry." Dick said after a minute. 

"Me too."

"You were right. You were so right. I'm not doing well. I haven't been for a while."

"I know. I'm really sorry that I couldn't be there for you. I just... I don't know. You needed me and I let you walk away."

"After... everything. It just felt like you were so afraid of losing people."

"I was, but it wasn't what you thought. I was afraid that one day you would be gone and that we wouldn't get to do everything that we wanted to do. I wasn't going to walk away because of it. I was planning- I bought-"

"What?"

"I was so scared, Dick. I was scared of losing everyone. I realised that I wanted to hold onto you, that you were the most important thing." Jason wanted to explain, make Dick understand. "I thought we were on the same page. I thought that when we lost Nightwing, that we were going to start our life over. I bought a ring. I was going to propose, but then..."

"Then I decided to be Nightwing again." Dick said. 

"Yeah. And I couldn't do it. So I pulled back."

They sat there for a while. They cried and they hugged, but they didn't say much more. 

The wedding was beautiful. There were Arabic traditions mixed with western ones. It was wholly Damian and Colin. Jon was bouncing on the balls of his feet while they waited for the two grooms to enter. The ceremony was short. 

Jason thought he had never seen Damian look so happy. 

"We have a lot to figure out, Jay." Dick said at the reception. He was right. There was a lot to figure out. He didn't know where he and Dick stood. He didn't know what to do about Will. He didn't know where anything was going to go, but for now,

"We'll have one last dance, and then we'll figure it all out."


End file.
